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What Does the Bible Say About Marriage Problems?

Sometimes marriage can be portrayed like a fairy tale. In reality, though (like most things in life), it has its ups and downs. And there are seasons of times when even the best of marriages experience more downs than ups.

In the Bible, marriage is first presented as a blessing of lifelong love and companionship. Throughout the rest of Scripture, it’s also shown to be a solemn commitment and a lifelong work-in-progress.

From communication breakdowns and financial stress to infidelity and unmet expectations, couples face real challenges that can shake the very foundations of their relationship. Yet, the Bible offers timeless wisdom and hope for those willing to listen. In its pages, we find not just rules but redemptive principles for navigating marriage problems with grace and truth.

Here we will explore what Scripture actually says about marital struggles and how following this time-tested wisdom can lead to restoration, growth, and peace. We will find that the Bible doesn’t just point out problems, it also offers a path toward healing and hope.

We’ll look at:

Let’s start at the very beginning, when marriage was first introduced to humanity by God Himself.

The biblical view of marriage and its divine purpose

Marriage is not merely a human contract but a divine covenant designed by God.

In Genesis, we read the divine foundation of marriage:

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, CSB).

This unity is not just physical but emotional, spiritual, and covenantal. God intended marriage to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church (or His family of believers on earth)—a gospel-centered union built on love, trust, respect, and humility.

Each partner in a Christian marriage is called to play a role marked by care and service, not selfishness or domination. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25), and wives are to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33). These roles are complementary, not competitive.

Think of how puzzle pieces, though they may each look different, can fit perfectly together.

Understanding this purpose helps couples anchor their relationship on timeless principles instead of fleeting emotions or aspirations.

But what happens when this divine design seems threatened?

Common marriage issues and what the Bible says about them

Golden wedding rings placed inside an open Bible next to a black leather shoe.

Image by Audu Samson

We are all flawed humans living in a flawed world. So even the most faithful couples encounter struggles. These challenges can arise in several forms: unresolved anger, discouragement, unmet expectations, unintentional neglect, previously-unchallenged assumptions, financial pressure, or sudden, unforeseen life events that can bring out the worst in us. In short, marriage problems are part of our broken human condition.

The Bible identifies the root of these issues is sin. The fear and selfishness that the devil introduced into human life.

The book of James presents this thought impressively:

“What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don’t they come from your passions that wage war within you?” (James 4:1, CSB).

Note that the word “passions” isn’t referring to general ambition or fervor, or even loving, romantic passion. The Bible is talking about self-serving desires that can tend to take over. Pride, fear, greed, etc. These selfish forces, especially when coupled with a lack of understanding and poor communication, are fuel for conflict.

But Scripture highlights redemptive practices, including forgiveness (Colossians 3:13), patience (Galatians 5:22), and active listening (Proverbs 18:13). It encourages couples to address anger before it escalates (Ephesians 4:24-27) and to pursue peace through mutual respect and open dialogue.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? Especially if we’ve been in interactions where we’ve wished the other person would just take more time to listen to you and understand where you are coming from.

But there’s still more to conflict resolution than just knowing the root of conflict.

So let’s continue through Scripture to keep building upon these ideas.

How to apply Scripture in practical ways during times of conflict

Christian conflict resolution isn’t about winning arguments. In fact, it isn’t at all about one person winning or losing. “Winning” in the case of conflict means finding mutual understanding and common ground. The only “win” is a “win-win.”

Jesus’ words in Matthew 18:15-17 provide a straightforward process: speak privately, involve witnesses if necessary, and seek community help when needed. It’s a solution-based approach built on love and restoration.

Effective communication in Christian marriages involves speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), listening attentively without judging or interrupting (James 1:19), and using words to build up, not tear down (Proverbs 15:1).

It also involves recognising when to seek external help—such as godly marriage counselling—especially when the issues seem too big to handle alone.

Most importantly, resolving conflicts requires prayer and God’s guidance. Philippians 4:6 encourages believers to bring all worries to God through prayer and supplication. Doing so invites divine wisdom into human struggle.

And what about those who feel their marriage is already broken beyond repair? Let’s talk about hope.

Encouragement for couples seeking healing, even after deep hurt

The Bible is full of stories of redemption, including those of broken marriages.

Hosea’s unwavering love for his unfaithful wife is a powerful image of God’s love for us. Similarly, no marriage is beyond the reach of God’s healing power.

If your marriage has suffered from betrayal, ongoing conflict, or emotional distance, take heart: God specialises in restoration.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation…” (NKJV). With repentance, forgiveness, and accountability, couples can experience renewal.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting the past but choosing to trust God’s grace more than the offence. And to uphold the relationship as more important than either person’s faults. It may involve boundaries, counselling, and time, but true forgiveness starts with obedience to God’s call to love.

Now that we’ve looked at healing, let’s explore how to strengthen a marriage using biblical tools proactively.

Tools for building a spiritually strong and resilient marriage

To thrive, a marriage must be nurtured on a daily basis.

The Bible offers many tools:

  • Prayer: Praying together fosters spiritual intimacy and brings unity.
  • Study of Scripture: Couples who meditate on God’s Word gain wisdom for handling challenges.
  • Obedience to biblical roles: Honouring God-given responsibilities leads to peace and order.
  • Regular communication: Being open about needs and feelings cultivates trust.
  • Respect and affirmation: Uplifting one another in word and deed strengthens the bond.

Marriage biblically is more than surviving. It’s about flourishing in love, mutual submission, and constant growth in Christ. As Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Finding hope, healing, and strength in God’s design for marriage

Christian marriages will face storms, but with God at the centre, they can emerge stronger. By embracing biblical principles, resolving conflict with humility, and seeking God’s guidance, couples move from brokenness to healing.

If you’re struggling in your relationship, remember: your story isn’t over. There is hope, help, and a future grounded in faith. Begin again with God’s truth, and let His love renew your home.

For more biblical guidance, visit our Family and Relationship sections at Hope for Africa. There, you’ll find practical, faith-based tools to help strengthen your home life and deepen your understanding of relationships.

To get started, here are three must-reads:

Let God’s Word be the foundation of your next steps. Start reading today!

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